The Connate of 4B
by misssalix
Summary: Using the pilot as a jumping off point, this is Penny's side of the story with Shenelope undertones. A patchwork of new material, missing moments, and the scenes I can't live without. (Previously titled the penny retelling)
1. The Televison Aquisition

AN - don't own, blah blah. Please excuse any random paragraph breaks. Or other mistakes for that matter. Unbetaed, I'll go over things and make a cover at a later date. And yes, I do like cake.

Penny rolls over on her bed, her head pounding. The sushi last night was good, the sake great and the karaoke was probably a mistake.

She turns off the blaring alarm and gets out of bed. Shower, a quick greasy breakfast and then off to find a cheap new tv to replace the one that jackass kept. That brings back more guilt over last nights debacle, and Penny cringes.

She wonders if free sushi was enough repayment and decides to stop by 4A to get a read on their moods before leaving.

Dressed in pink shorts and a comfy fitted t, she locks her front door, walks the short hall to her brainy neighbors' door and knocks loudly.

"Oh, hello Penny, Leonard isn't here." Sheldon says as soon as he opens the door.

She's caught off guard and stumbles past the real reason she knocked, "That's fine, I was just checking in, seeing if any else woke up with a hangover."

"Wolowitz no doubt is currently feeling the effects, which would serve him right for choosing to sing those awful songs. Leonard didn't mention it on his way out the door, and I can only assume Rajesh feels as well as I since neither of us tried that fermented rice drink you three were so fond of."

She was impressed by how prompt the delivery of his run down was, and, while still processing it, she quickly followed up with, "So you're good?"

He let a little sigh and said "Yes, I'm "good"." She could practically see the implied air quotes.

"Well, great." Penny starts to walk away, but thinks better of it and turns to ask, "I'm going to Big Box Electronics, any interest in coming along?"

His face lights up, "Well I do have my eye on a new Xbox, and maybe the latest Halo. Let me get my bag." He disappears into the apartment and Penny questioningly mutters "he wants a halo?" under her breath.

The irritating ride over ("Did you know your check engine light is on?") is negated when he lets her in on the secret that you can actually negotiate at this store and he's surprisingly good at it. More of a "I will annoy you until I get my way" technique then anything else but it works. He gets everything he wanted under his predetermined budget, and Penny learns that Halo is a shoot 'em up game you play on an Xbox. Also he annoys the sales clerk into giving Penny an outrageously good price on a shiny flat screen.

He doesn't say a word about the check engine light on the way home, choosing instead to list the differences between this version of Halo and it's predecessors. She doesn't mind, because she's distracted by thoughts of how her new tv is better then that old lousy one, and the jerk that has it. And, oh! She's going to need a new entertainment center. More shopping!

"Hey, sweetie, I'm thinking of going to that Swedish home furniture place next, do you wanna come too?"

"Hmm, well I do want to play with my new toy, but on the other hand I would enjoy a couple of their zesty meatballs. ... Penny, was that a snort of laughter?" ~

Penny and Sheldon shuffle up the stairs, his arms full of flat screen tv, hers loaded up with bags containing his gaming stuff and her random decor things, pillows, picture frames and a new duvet cover.

"You can just set it by the door, I can manage." She drops everything else, except his stuff, which she hands to him when he's done what she asked. Without realizing it she walks him to his door and smiles up at him. "Thanks for being my partner in crime today."

He looks aghast, "Crime?! Were you stealing things when I wasn't looking?" He looks around like cops are going to appear at any moment.

She can't help but giggle, "No, it's just a saying..." she decides to go for the cheap laugh "... Although that price I paid for my TV could be considered a steal."

He returns to normal, calm Sheldon and for a second she thinks he isn't going to acknowledge her terrible joke, and then he lets out a breathy little laugh and she can't help but giggle again. "Good night."

He responds the same before locking the door behind him.

She stares at the pile of stuff in front of her door and that morning's headache comes roaring back.


	2. Theories of Lois Lane's Falling Fate

Chapter Two

Penny is pretty sure these stairs get longer every day, or The Cheesecake Factory is stealing bits of her soul or something. But as she gets closer to the landing her finger finds the spare key she had made which reminds her that she finally gets to setup her new TV tomorrow. That puts a smile on her face and she has a little extra spring in her step as she goes to knock on 4A.

The door bursts open and Leonard angles himself out of it. (Trying to cover the noise inside, maybe?)

"Bad time?" she asks over the sound of Howard talking about being puffy.

"No. No. It's not" Leonard replies.

"Are you sure?" she doesn't think swelling fingers equals the best time to ask a favor, especially when the last one went so terribly.

Before Leonard can respond the door opens up further to reveal Sheldon, Raj and a normal looking Howard.

"Uh, hi guys!" she gives a weak little wave and hopes Howard won't bring up their duet performance from sushi night.

He doesn't, but it may be because Leonard gave him a not very subtle glare before asking, "So, uh, did you need something?"

"Oh right, well my furniture is being delivered tomorrow, and I was wondering if you could sign for it and let them in if I'm not here." She holds out the key, and catches Sheldon's eye.

"Of course we could do it, no problem, right Sheldon?" Leonard replies grabbing the key. At the prompting Sheldon finally nods his head in acquiesce.

"Great, thanks!" she starts to head across the hall when Leonard stops her, asking if she'd like to join them for dinner and a Superman movie marathon. When she mentions her favorite scene they go all nerd debate club and she takes that as her cue to go change.

Penny figures that the intensity of the debate means she can even shower off the cheesecake that got dropped on her so it's been nearly 30 minutes by the time she leaves her apartment, dressed in comfy sweats, a flattering tank and a messy bun at the top of her head.

Surprisingly they're still in the hallway, although Howard's on his knees trying to pick the lock. She notices Leonard is missing and sits next to Sheldon on the steps.

"Wow, what did I miss?"

"Not much, someone stupidly locked us out, there will be an investigation." His voice did sound as into the idea as one might assume. "So Howard went and got his lock picking set from home, Rajesh is attempting to help, and Leonard is out getting fresh food. The stuff in there will be way beyond their prime ingesting timetables."

"Oh" she turns so she facing him with her back against the wall. "Well why don't you tell me about the scientific problems my favorite scene brings up, I somehow missed it.

"I assumed you left during that part intentionally."

"So I could shower and change, not because I didn't care."

"Hmm, well, we do have some time before Leonard returns." he grins, pleased to be able to discuss this again "Well Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now travelling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces."

Penny takes this all in and says "Wow, I think I'd rather take my chances with just falling, maybe I'd get lucky and find a trampoline or bouncy castle to break my fall."

Sheldon smiles and says, "So you do agree, it's more humane to just let her fall."

"Well, yeah, isn't that what I just said."

"I wasn't asking, I was pointing out a fact." Sheldon responds and then stands to let Leonard come up the stairs on his side.

"Leonard, Penny agrees with me!"

"Uh huh, sure she does. C'mon it's time to finally get this marathon started."

They all pile into 4A. Raj gets the movies going and sits in the big comfy chair. Penny plops down on the center couch cushion, as it seemed like the most prime nap real estate. Leonard sits next to her on the right and starts passing out food. "The upside of having to go back and reorder is this time I knew to order for you too," he says as he smiles her way.

"Thanks sweetie, that's so thoughtful."

A few hours later from Howard's spot on the floor she could just about hear him complaining that Leonard stole his spot. Raj gave him a look and hand gesture that implied only looney people have assigned seats in this apartment. Then he threw a worried glance Sheldon's way in case he noticed.

She's pretty sure he didn't because he was too busy glaring at her. She was right about this spot being the best place for naps because she has been on the verge of taking one. Stretched out and a little too much touching for Sheldon' liking if the facial expression is anything to go on She apologizes to Sheldon, thanks Leonard for dinner, and said good night to Raj and Howard before meandering back to her apartment.

She has things to do in the morning and as fun as it was using part of Sheldon as a

pillow, he didn't seem too fond of it.


	3. The Eloise Quandary

AN still don't own. The hard and fun part of this story is there are so many parts of Penny that need to be fleshed out. And yeah, I'll be playing a lot with missing moments. Thanks for the lovely reviews so far.

After her nice nap, the sleep following was refreshing. But neither stopped the bad mood from forming when she remembered why she got up so early. Damn Kurt and his meathead friends.

One of those friends, Carl, broke up with his girlfriend after seeing Kurt doing the same. There may have also been strutting around and bragging about how he could nail the next girl that he wants without Penny the harpy around to ruin things.

She's pretty sure Kurt left out the part where she broke up with him. But no amount of her screaming at those idiots will change the fact that Eloise is now going through what Penny just got done figuring out. So as much as she wants to stay in bed, instead she gets up and dressed.

The two girls meet for lunch at cheap dive bar. The cute guy working behind the counter offers to start ladies night early after catching a glance at Eloise's tear soaked face. They commiserate and eat deep fried foods. The booze turns out to be more of a hindrance then helpful so Penny cuts them off. During one long sob the cute bartender hears Eloise say, "Even if I find an apartment, they still expect you to pay for it! My life is the worst!" before she puts her head down on the counter to sob some more.

Pete, the bartender, introduces himself to the surprisingly sober Penny, and mentions that they're hiring just about every position at the new nightclub down the road. They've even tried poaching him.

"You don't want to leave this cheery ambiance?" Penny teases.

"You joke, but that is actually part of it. I'm thinking about trying to swing both, this place is like home, but I could certainly use the extra money."

At the word "home" Eloise lets out another little sob, and Penny takes that as a hint that they should start the apartment hunting part of this trip. She over tips Pete and they head to her car.

After a few hours things are looking up. Eloise found one or two potential apartments and they even stopped by the nightclub, and they hired her on the spot. On the way home she kept going on about all the drinks she's going to invent, and Penny had to remind her that she got the coat check girl job which could eventually maybe lead to backup bartender. All she got was a silly gesture in return, as Ellie walked to the door of her parents house. Yeah, she's going to be fine.

By the time Penny's pulling into her parking spot she feels very accomplished and then remembers the furniture was due today and all but runs upstairs.

Her door is wide open and there it is, her new entertainment center. She says hi to the guys and Leonard mentions that it just got there. She distracted by checking it's size to make sure it's the right one and then realizes it's just the two of them standing there and it is the right size.

"Wow, you guys got it up here? Was it hard?"

Leonard comes back quickly with, "No."

She hears Sheldon question that answer with disbelief, but quickly parrots a "No."

"Well, thanks!" she says.

Leonard says something about getting out of her hair and starts toward the door. Sheldon stays back and says, "Penny, I just want you to know, you don't have to live like this, I'm here for you."

"What? Sheldon, I think I can put a cheap media cabinet together."

Leonard seems pleased that that was the conclusion she drew and makes excuses while pulling Sheldon from the room.

She rips open the box, while thinking those two are odd ducks, but very nice odd ducks. Penny makes fast work of assembling it, and stands up taking pride at how it doesn't lean even a little bit. She looks around the messy room and decides she can figure out placement tomorrow.

Now she needs to shower off dive bar and dusty apartments and go back to sleep.


	4. The Late Night Invasion

Once again, I do not own, and errors will be found. I'll fix what I can when I can. For now enjoy the new title and the new cover art. ~

Penny stays in bed a bit after she wakes up, enjoying the quiet. During a short trip between apartments yesterday, Eloise asked her if she ever gets scared being on her own. She shrugged it off with a silly joke. The answer is yeah, how could she not, but she didn't want to add to Ellie's burden. But at least she has nice neighbors to help.

Ugh, time to get up and figure out where everything should go. She opens her eyes and sits up... and blinks in disbelief. "What the HELL!"

She storms to the kitchen trying to take everything in. Penny can't help but scream, "What kind of person breaks in in the middle of the night to CLEAN?" Everywhere she looks is organized and spotless. It doesn't take long to run down the list of suspects. She throws on her robe and checks the lock on her way out for signs of tampering. Yep, someone in possession of a key.

She pounds on 4A, and Leonard answers quickly. She may have shouted a little too loudly, but dammit, it was warranted!

"You broke in to my apartment in the middle of the night, while I was sleeping!?"

Leonard looks sheepish and says, "Yes, but only to clean!"

Sheldon can't help but interject, "Really more to organise, you're not actually dirty, per se."

She glares at them, "While I was sleeping! I'm going to need my key back, now!"

Sheldon gets up and fishes it out of a bowl next to the door, asking along the way, "Penny, just to clarify, is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping, or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm?"

She can see Leonard hide his head in his hands in the reflection of the nearby whiteboard. Shaking her head, she grabs the key from Sheldon's outstretched hand, and goes back to her apartment.

Plopping down on the couch, she looks around, taking in the changes to her surroundings. "God, this place makes me feel like I need to shower just to sit here." She makes a face and considers doing just that, but her decision is interrupted by three sharp knocks at her door, followed by her name. Penny death glares at the door when the whole thing is repeated. When the third set of knocks begin she finally gets up and tightens her robe. She pulls open the door just as Sheldon finishes saying her name.

"What?!"

"No need to be rude, I just came to say that I am truly sorry for what happened last night, I take full responsibility. And I hope that it won't colour your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy, but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover. ... Oh, also you may want to see a otolaryngologist. Your snoring may just be a sinus infection, but it may be sleep apnea." off her blank state he continues "An otolaryngologist is a throat doctor"

She slams the door shut. As she heads back to go shower she can't help saying out loud, "I don't snore." Through the door she hears "Yes, you do!"

The pillow she throws makes a satisfying thump against the door. She's also pretty sure she hears a noise of surprise from him before footsteps walk away.

Later when she's as clean as her apartment she takes a leery look towards her dresser. As creepy as it was, they're not pervs, right? She decides not to chance it and throws open the closet to grab a laundry basket. Taped inside one of the doors is a laminated schematic of her closet, including where everything should go. She's almost disappointed that everything is where she left it, which is- everywhere. She unearths the laundry basket and grabs

the contents of her underwear drawer and heads to the laundry room.

Along the way Penny runs into Rajesh, the adorable little mute guy.

"Hey, Raj, did you hear what Sheldon and Leonard did? Well I guess even if you did, it's not like you could tell me. It's just that I just broke up with this guy, and it's kind of creepy living alone. I thought I at least had some trustworthy guys nearby, but they just broke in, in the middle of the night like it was nothing. Where I'm from that could get you shot!"

She sighs and sets the laundry basket down. Looking at Raj's relatively innocent face she realizes it isn't actually fair to treat the guys like other people. They've really been nothing but nice.

Seemingly unaware that she concluded the conversation in her head, she gives him a hug and thanks him for being such a good listener. Then she takes the basket back upstairs with him following slowly behind.

Back on the fourth floor, Penny knocks on 4A. Howard answers and gives the contents of her laundry basket a good ogling. "Ew, now I'm definitely going to wash them."

Leonard looks around Howard and seems surprised to see her even though he just heard her voice. "Penny, come in, what a nice surprise! So, uh, no longer feeling, uh for lack of a better word, violated?"

"Well I had a nice chat with Raj, and we agreed that you guys deserve a second chance." off of Raj's small smile she

continues, "but we came up with a few conditions. First, for Leonard's part in it, he is required to buy us dinner."

Howard seems to be enjoying their fake little ploy and let's out a cheer.

"And for Sheldon, he has the worst punishment of all."

"I will not go shopping with you again in the near future, it took you twenty minutes to decide what kind of fake flowers you wanted for your dining table. A table I doubt you'll use more then once a month."

"Oh shush, you'll probably like this punishment" -"Oh I bet I would!"

"Shut it Howard, now as I was saying, Sheldon I sentence you, to help me make my closet look like the schematic."

Her face lights up when Sheldon gives Leonard his usual dinner times two and directions to deliver it to her apartment because "it might take all night."

Howard seems disappointed that he doesn't get to say things like that about her, but Penny doesn't care, she's too busy holding in a happy dance 'cause her closet is going to be as well organized as a movie stars.


	5. Fortune Celebrated

Author Notes at the bottom

Penny was in heaven. Well her version of heaven anyways. Sheldon was finishing up the clothing portion of her closet and having her organize her shoes so they could be displayed and stored properly. ("Really, Penny, you can't just toss them on top of each and expect them to remain in pristine condition!")

Somewhere beneath a pile of boots came a ringing noise.

"I think that must be that pink confection you call a phone, I've done as much as I can tonight," Sheldon says.

Penny throws boots around until she finds her bright pink flip phone, flipping it open to say, "Just a sec."

"I vastly underestimated the number of shoes you own, who needs so many different colors of what is basically the same high heeled shoe? Nevertheless, I'll go order the appropriate brackets and shelving on amazon tonight, and once they are installed we will be even, correct?"

"Yes Sheldon, thank you Sheldon!" she says following him to the door.

He spins around and says, "Let's try not to make a habit of interfering with my rem sleep," he narrows his eyes, "agreed?"

She's not sure why but she crosses her fingers behind her back, but she agrees before shutting the door behind him.

Putting the phone back up to her ear she says, "Hello?"

"Phew, I didn't think I could make it until you came back on the line without shouting my good news," Ellie exclaims, continuing on she asks, "Guess who's moving back out of her parents house!?"

"Umm, Britney Spears? Did that girl finally get her life back together?"

"Oh, hush. Me! It's ME!" Penny could practically see her beaming through the phone.

"That's fantastic, which place?"

"The fabulous one, the one that was within walking distance of my equally fabulous bar tending gig-"

"Coat check job," Penny quickly interjects and the big smile that follows makes her cheeks hurt.

Ellie keeps going like she didn't hear her, "I know you already saw it, but you need to come over and give me your "you already put money down, so of course I love it" opinion. And then we can walk to the bar, they're having a pre opening pre-party and employees can just check their own coats so we dance until we can't dance no more."

"Sounds great, I gotta go to bed then, I have a lunch shift and my back is all sore from being on the floor with Sheldon all night."

"Dirty!"

"Now it's your turn to hush. Now, say good night, Ellie."

"Good night Ellie" Penny laughs at her friend's ridiculousness and says goodnight for real. ~

Yuck, there's something sticky on her yellow vest and she's so glad that she can change out of it when she reaches her apartment. She considers knocking on 4A to invite them to go with but Leonard mumbled something about a quest in response to why he seemed to be home from work early. Howard was with him and was happy to fill in the blanks, but all she got was it involved that game with Howard's pet donkey[1] and it would take days to finish.

Shrugging it off she went and admired all her options in her new fancy closet. She picked out a slimming black dress, with inch wide straps that tied in a bow along her lower back. Going for shoes next made it obvious that Sheldon had come back and finished the job. (Darn that key thief, but so worth it.) The display was beautiful, she might even owe him now. Penny picked classy flats that would match the dress and keep her upright after free drinks and lots of dancing.

One preparty shot and she was out the door for a night of fun and possibly some debauchery. ~

The cab pulled up to Eloise's new place and it was Penny's favorite of all they had seen. Not any bigger then 4A, but it had a good vibe. Ellie gave her a second tour and then rushed to get ready out of the open suitcases that had encircled her in the bathroom. They talked about how she was going to get the rest of her stuff back, but that was quickly back burnered so they could let loose and have fun that night.

It was a nice short walk to the club, Penny might have even been able to get away with heels without too much pain. There wasn't a line to get in because from the front it still looked closed, they wandered around the back to the employee entrance and you could start to feel the bass.

There actually was a coat check girl, a daughter of an owner, Eloise tipped her right away, hoping it would start a precedent or good tipping karma or something that might help bring in more money when she took the post. She said as much to Penny during their "too hot, must go outside break."

A cute guy came out with a frilly mixed drink and a glass of water and passed the water to Penny, "I had wanted to buy you a drink, but you look like you could use this instead, no harm, I'm man enough to drink this." He holds up the pink drink with a little umbrella.

Penny laughs and says. "I think a nice guy like you would give my friend here the girly drink, since we're celebrating her good fortune tonight and then come back with more water."

"Fair enough," he bows slightly and then walks back inside.

"My good fortune?" Ellie wonders aloud.

"Well in a short amount of time you went from being arm candy to a jerk who never appreciated you to homeless to back to your parents and jobless, and now, AND now! Look at you, new job, new apartment, and nice guys who don't scoff at the idea of them doing something for you!"

"Well Penny, I guess that's true, but we can't leave out the part where you're drunk and pretty much yelled that last part."

She covers her mouth and softly says "oops." Then makes the decision to chug her glass of water.

The cute guy returns and Eloise has already finished the drink and Penny reaches for his cup of water. He's not as willing to hand it over this time.

Ellie breaks into boss mode, "Okay me, more drinking and dancing," pointing at Penny, "her more water and dancing," and "you..," pointing to cute guy.

"Doug," he answers to the assumed question.

"Okay, Doug you're in charge of getting her home tonight. But no funny business, I'm pretty sure I know where you work"

Penny leans in and asks "You do?"

Ellie shakes her head and smirks "Sweets, it's employees only night."

"But, I'm here!"

"Fine, I actually do know he works the second bar when Pete is over at the dive."

"Oh, okay." ~

After downing about four cups of water Penny's moved back into that fun buzzed state by the time they're climbing the four flights of stairs.

They stop in front of her door and Penny says, " I had a nice time tonight."

"It would have been better if I could have had that delicious looking drink. I always "accidentally" buy it when I shouldn't, but some thirsty girl always whisks it away before I get a chance to taste it. "

She laughs at that and is about to suggest mistakingly ordering 10 instead of 1 to increase the odds, but she stops that train of thought when she catches the look on Doug's face. That "I think we should kiss now" look.

Before anything actually happens Leonard pops out of 4A saying, "Penny, the mailman did it again, umm he..." Leonard looks up and seeing how close their standing, continues with, "Oh! Sorry!"

"Um, no, hi Leonard, this is Doug, Doug, this is my neighbor Leonard."

"What's up bro." is Doug's reply. (Bro? Has he been saying this all night and she just didn't notice? The more likely answer is she hadn't seen him talk to a guy since they met, two short hours ago.)

Leonard gives a confused, "Not much, brooo?"

Penny doesn't miss the strange tone, but she's not planning on going out with Doug so it's not worth getting in to. "So, did you need something?"

"Uh, yeah, uh, I just, I got your mail again, here."

This just keeps happening, A and B are completely different letters. How hard is it to tell them apart? "Thank you, I've got to talk to that mailman."

"Oh no, that's probably not such a good idea. Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap."

"Okay, well, thank you, again."

"No problem. Bye. Oh, and, bye, bro! "

Doug is still standing there patiently and when she focuses back on him she says, "Okay, well I should turn in, work tomorrow."

"Okay, but I'll see you at the club again?"

She nods, says yeah and enters the apartment. Firmly locking it behind her.

AN - I know my head canon of the closet schematic being laminated came from someone else, but I can't remember who. Also the lion became a donkey because it seemed like the type of thing Penny would misremember.


	6. Unscheduled Madness

Ellie calls the next day to see if anything happened with Doug. Penny tells her about his fondness for the word bro, and they both sigh, what a waste.

"Well my night went better then that and, the tip jar was looking awfully full-"

"Sweetie, that was probably just people trying to get in good with the boss via his daughter."

"La la la! Not hearing you!" ~

She's up surprisingly early, and decides to be useful in the few hours before her shift. In a crazy show of self control her apartment is still clean. Not Sheldon level clean, but far better then what she'd do on her own. She decides to fill the bare shelves with some actual food for once, and gets ready to go to the store.

On her way out Penny notices movement in the apartment across the hall. That's odd, they're both usually gone by now. She peeks in, wondering if maybe one of them is under the weather, and might need some comfort food while she's heading there anyways. Instead she finds Sheldon making eggs.

"Hi, hey. I'm running out to the market, do you guys need anything?"

"Oh, well this would be one of those circumstances that people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence."

"Well, sure... so you do need something?"

"Eggs. Four dozen evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free range, large, extra-large and jumbo."

"Yeah, you're going to need to repeat that," she says pulling her phone out of her back pocket.

"Never mind, you won't get it right, I'd better come with you."

Penny can't help the eye roll that follows his statement. ~

After his soliloquy on her check engine light, she gets him to admit that he was fired. Then he gives her a run down on his great egg experiments. She leaves that alone and lets him get the eggs he wants, but also convinces him that they should get the makings of a delicious dinner. Sheldon confesses that he's actually a good cook and agrees to make dinner in return for the ride to the store. And one trip to putt putt golf later in the week. He likes to practice his negotiating skills.

After all that she doesn't even get to eat with him, her shift turned into a double when two girls called in sick. They're bound to be fired any day. So once again, she walks up the stairs feeling like she left something behind at The Factory. The lights are off in 4A so she doesn't bother knocking. Inside 4B it's a different story. Sheldon must have left the light on for her when she got home. Penny's pretty sure he's the type to turn something off when he's done using it, so there had to be another reason.

Her kitchen has been cleaned again, and she opens the fridge hoping he didn't throw out that expired yogurt- it was just a few days past. Instead she finds four square takeout style boxes holding the dishes and sides of the meal they planned. He made it anyway and saved her some.

It takes a couple of days, but eventually he unravels. It reminds her of when her brother would get their old pickup stuck in the mud, and the wheels would just spin and spin. Penny would have to jog up and down the highway to collect enough rocks and pebbles to shove under the tires to create enough traction to get it going again.

She's just not sure what Sheldon needs as traction. When she runs into Leonard at the mailboxes, she decides to point out that Sheldon took back her spare key, and hey, wouldn't it be a good idea for her to have one to their place?

Leonard gets a big grin and asks, "You want a key to my apartment? Sure!"

Penny can't help but smile at the way he pulls out the word "sure," like it has a few extra syllables.

When she gets home it's been pushed under the door with a tiny bow on it, and for a second that's concerning, but she shrugs it off and pockets it.

The next night she's still not sure what would help push Sheldon back into motion, but uses the spare key anyway to check on him. All the lights are off and he seems to have powered down to watch a marathon of something on TV. Silently she curls up next to him and starts to fall in love with a Captain Tightpants. When she leaves that night she's accompanied by a nightlight fish which she promptly names River.

A loom is delivered the next morning and his mother the morning after that. Their regularly scheduled lives resume shortly after that, but she still has that spare key, and a lovely new pet

AN This one was hard to write, I had stuff about episode 3, but I didn't like it so it had to go. And 4 is one of my favorite episodes so I didn't want to just copy and paste a lot.


	7. All Hallow's Amnesia

Penny's out for coffee with Ellie when they run into Becky, the girlfriend of Kevin, who is just another meathead friend of Kurt's. They're still together, which Becky seems to think means that she's better then the two of them. Which she communicates by tossing her hair a lot and wearing a smug grin. When she implies that they are pathetic people who have no friends and might be lesbians, which maybe she does by asking, "So you guys hang out together alone, like all the time?" Penny blurts out that she's throwing a Halloween party. Then she follows up that bad idea by saying, "You should totally come!"

Ellie, also feeling like she has something to prove, suggests she pass on an invitation to Carl as well. It was not their finest moment. After a few more cups of coffee they decide to they can make this work, invite people from the club, the factory, and the boys (which is how Penny refers to them now that Sheldon approved her restaurant for Tuesday nights.)

"And I'll finally get to meet them! This is actually a great idea," Ellie says, with about 60% truth.

It's a week before the party that Kurt shows at her work and apologizes and Penny tries not to, but totally sees that guy who convinced her they should leave Nebraska and believed she'd be a star. It's really hard not to invite that guy to her party, and even harder to keep the thought that maybe he deserves a second chance from the back of her mind. So of course he's coming, and she is going to have to look hot.

Which is a shame because she bought a parasol and a pair of work overalls and strawberry scented chapstick. Hopefully the costume shop will have something.

The day of, the guys are the first to arrive, and super early, which she finds even more ridiculous because it took a couple of tries to even convince them to show up. Next time she knows the magic word is costume. She gets ready in a rush, and she's not pleased with her cat outfit, but at least it's flattering.

"Still just us, huh?" she asks walking out of her room, sliding her cat ears into place.

"Yes, and I think it's impolite to show up tardy when you've agreed to attend an event." Sheldon complains.

Leonard can't help but point out,"You do it all the time!"

"Only when I don't actually want to go somewhere,"

"I'm sure that's not what's happening now," pipes up Howard, sounding like he doesn't believe a word of it.

Raj shrugs and Penny says, "This is normal guys, you know, fashionably late?"

Sheldon looks alarmed, "Does that mean that the tardier you are, the more bonus "fashion points" you get?"

"Sweetie, I told you, we aren't have a costume contest"

"Why are we still here, Leonard?" ~

She started drinking right after Sheldon said that, and then, without meaning to, starting playing a drinking game. One shot per person she didn't want there actually showing up. It does explain why she doesn't remember too much the next morning. Although she does remember Ellie looking adorable as a lady bug.

She goes across the hall for coffee and to see if they can fill in any blanks. Sheldon apparently was archiving the whole night with his big brain, and gives a complete run down of everything that happened until they left, which was right after Penny put Kurt in his place, so she's counting it as a win. ~

Penny can't hold in the cackle when Ellie calls later with a serious problem, "I met a guy at your party last night and now he won't speak to me. Even though he's still in my bed, and smiling," she lowers her voice, "Do you think he's, like, a serial killer?"

"Honey, are you sure he ever spoke to you?"

"I, uh, remember him being a really great listener?"

"Okay, put me on speaker," Penny hears the click and static from the switch and says "Eloise meet Rajesh, the selectively mute sweetie who works with Leonard and Sheldon. Raj, that's Ellie, my very good friend, whom if you hurt I shall injure you. Now remember you can always write things down or text. But try not to stare too much, it creepy. Now my other line says Nebraska is calling so I have to go. Have fun you two crazy kids!"

She wishes she could see the looks on their faces, but the caller distracts her before she could even imagine it.


	8. The Houseguest Not Invited

When she picks up the other line Penny's expecting it to be her sister, calling from some motel after leaving her husband or some other family drama like that. But no, it's just Christi, her brother's ex. She's invited herself out to stay before Penny even realizes what's happening. It's a tiny little apartment, and there's barely enough room for just Penny. But just a week later there Christi is, already out staying her welcome and too cheap to do her laundry in actual machines like a normal person.

Penny can't stand listening to her babble on and on about her last boyfriend who was so rich and awesome, but oh, married, and who obviously dropped her the second she started getting too clingy.

She wishes she could go hide with Ellie, but she conveniently went to visit her mom before Penny could get any good Raj related gossip. And, of course, there hasn't been any information forthcoming from him either. It's like a cliffhanger on a show right before they go on hiatus. Just plain cruel!

So instead screaming at Christi to just leave already, she makes some excuse and flees across the hall.

According to Sheldon, it's only five minutes flat from Penny mentioning Christi and her unmentionables to Howard and Christi alone in her apartment with gross cheesy music playing. She knew Christi had low standards, but Howard?!

When that game that Sheldon bought is mentioned it sounds like a perfect way to let out her frustration. Sheldon has another opinion, "Penny, this is a complex battle simulation with a steep learning curve, there are myriad weapons, vehicles and strategies to master, not to mention an extremely intricate back-story. This notion of you playing is, well sucky at best."

She responds by shooting him in the head. Twice. That shuts him up pretty quickly, and by the time they're done it still hasn't gotten old, mainly because she finds new and interesting ways to kill him every time. He was not wrong about the vast variety of weapons.

It's not until later when she's still awake, trying to sleep on their couch after freaking out about hearing the door open that she realizes that Sheldon called her attractive. Then it's not the fear that keeps her awake, it's the curiosity about if he meant attractive in general, or attractive to him. ~

She wakes up the next morning to the sound of the Doctor Who opening credits, and Sheldon perched precariously on the armrest above her head.

"Sheldon! What the hell?" she can't help but yelling, although it comes out much quieter and hoarse then expected.

"I see, or rather, heard you never saw a doctor as I recommended," he says before taking a bite of cereal.

"What?"

"You were snoring, now please vacate my spot, it's time for Doctor Who."

"I don't snore," she mutters, before raising her voice, "I'll move if you pour me a bowl of cereal too. Something sugary!"

He raises an eyebrow at the first, but sets down his bowl and does as she asks. She doesn't move over very far, but he has enough room to sit down when he brings over the breakfast she requested. Once again she gets sucked into the TV he's watching, and she wonders how many episodes this show has, because Firefly was far too short.

When Leonard comes out twenty minutes later he seems surprised that Sheldon's happily explaining the season's previous important plot points, and that she is totally into it.

Unfortunately Howard shows up shortly after that wearing her short pink robe, and completely ruins the rest of Doctor Who morning. ~

She's so pleased to alone in her apartment again, that she tries not to worry about the damage Christi could be inflicting on Howard. She rationalizes that she did warn him so it's not on her.

Ellie called earlier, she's back in town and they decide to go out dancing to celebrate. Leonard and Sheldon stop by before she leaves trying to get her to play Halo with them again, but this is her first chance to get Eloise all liquored up so she'll finally spill what happened after the party. There's no way she's letting this opportunity pass her by.

Thirty minutes later Penny is knocking on Ellie's door.

"Pen! Hi!" they hug and shriek like its been years. "I'm ready, you look hot, let's get with the walking."

On the short trip from apartment to club Eloise fills Penny in on the work related changes. "Doug's already been put on probation, and they hired some kick ass waitresses for the bottle service section. Kayla and Denise, they're off tonight too since its a weeknight so I invited them out with us."

"Okay, oooh, can we set up in the bottle service section like VIPs if it's closed tonight anyways?"

"Yes, yes we can." ~

The four of them dance, and dance. It's a quiet night for the club, but the music's still loud and there's still enough guys around trying to pay for drinks. Penny's had just enough drinks to get lost in the music and have a great time with it. When Ellie pulls her back to the table she's sweaty and giddy and hoping it's spillage time. Instead she gets asked about Sheldon.

"What? What do you mean, what about Sheldon?"

Kayla and Denise were already at the table, stuck in the back looking like they might scare off the next guy who approaches them.

Ellie tilts her head and says, "I'm not sure, but you've mentioned him a lot tonight."

"So? What about you and Raj, all this time and I've gotten nothing."

"Alright, alright. He's cute, and the sex was good from what little I remember, but it was weird, and I have no idea what's happening next. I'm sorry I'm vague, the whole thing feels vague."

Penny laughs, "Those guys, they're so strange, I just don't get it!"

Denise looks terribly confused and asks who they're talking about.

"The guys that live across from me, and their friends. All nerdy, but sweet in their own way... I think. Anyway, but they're so strange, I bet if we went over there and said we were there to sex them up they wouldn't even notice because it's Halo night."

Kayla says, "What?! I look totally hot tonight, I don't care how nerdy they are, this dress has earned me a grand worth of tips in just one night. So bring it on, what are your terms?"

Penny considers, "Ellie, call a cab. Mmm Terms, let's keep it simple, how about $1000 to the winner, inspired by your dress."

Ellie has her ear to the phone but still leans over to ask, "Do you have that much?"

"Sure, in my emergency fund." Ellie doesn't look too pleased about that. But Kayla and Penny shake on it anyways. The cab arrives and they all pile into it.

Outside 4A Penny checks her keyring for the spare key as she asks,"Ready?"

They all agree, she unlocks the door and they all step in. Penny clears her throat and says,"Hi guys, my friends and I got tired of dancing, so we came over to have sex with you."

The boys all continue to play. Ellie even gets to see Raj talk as he hasn't noticed them at all. After the predetermined amount of time has elapsed, they file out and close the door behind them.

Kayla is shocked and let's out a loud, "Damn it!" A few seconds later it's as though she remembers she can just wear that dress Saturday and calmly says, "I'll pay you Sunday."

Author note: it was pointed out that I skipped over a specific scene, I was going to explain why, but I've decided I'll save any answers for the end. If there's something you want answered, feel free to ask, but keep in mind- it'll be awhile.


	9. The First Date

Penny comes back up the stairs, this time from an audition. She thought it went well, but she was wrong. After a quick shower and change she walks into 4A like it's hers. Sheldon looks up from his spot, and says "Oh good, Leonard is on a quest to find something or other with the guys, and I could use a ride to Big Boy."

She was hoping to just collapse on the couch instead, but uh, why not? "You're buying."

"Very well." ~

"Just the two of you?"

"Yes, and we'd like a booth please."

Penny spaces out while Sheldon talks to the hostess, and when they're being seated. When they're going over the menus she has a hard time keeping back, "what's good here?" and his answer of the big boy alerts her that she didn't manage to not say it out loud.

It struck her as interesting that this is only the second time she's been out to eat with just one of the guys. She says as much to Sheldon.

"You mean your date with Leonard?"

"What?"

"Wasn't that the time you were referring to? If it helps, he said it went very well."

That rat fink, she thought it was a nice dinner between friends. She even made sure to ask if he thought it was or not and he lied.

"So following that line of thought, does this

qualify as a date?" he asks.

Penny almost spits out her water. "Do you want it to be?"

"Well after your date with Leonard nothing seemed to change so I would be okay labeling it as such, if you'd like to."

She grins, after imagining the fink's reaction. "Well, I suppose I'd like that very much."

It has little bearing on the rest of their time at the restaurant. Sheldon is polite as his momma raised him, and he paid per agreement.

Penny drove them home, and decided to screw with him a tiny bit. As they reached the fourth floor and he goes to unlock the front door she says, "Sheldon, there is one more item of the first date protocol that I'd like to do. The signal, that it's complete. "

At his confused look she says, "The good night kiss."

Understanding fills his face. He crosses the hall where she has also been about to unlock the door. Leaning down he gives her the tiniest of pecks on her cheek. And then he's in his apartment before she even knows how to react.

"What did I just start?" she says softly to the empty hallway. ~


	10. The Drink Solution

The next Thursday Ellie tries to break down her door. Or at least that's what it sounds like with all the banging.

Penny sleepily stumbles to the door, "What is your damage, Heather?"

The noise she gets in response sounds a lot like happiness, but involves a lot of e sounds.

Penny makes herself comfy on the couch and once Eloise finally calms down she announces that Doug got fired, and she gets to trial run as the new bartender.

"That's great, sweetie! What? What's with the face?"

"Well I actually don't know how to make drinks," Ellie admits.

"Phew, I thought it was something serious. You go get a book or two of common cocktails and I'll stop by the liquor store after dinner and we'll figure it out. Meet back at, say 8?"

"Okay, yes," she stops part way out the door, "Dinner? With who?"

Penny bites her lip from correcting the who to whom, the small smile that follows apparently gives her away.

"Tell Sheldon hello for me."

Penny nods and tries not to blush, and shuts the door behind her. ~

Penny wasn't even sure she really was having dinner with him, it was more an assumption. An accurate one. He showed up promptly at 6:30, and back to Big Boy they went.

Dinner was pleasant. They got seated at the same table, and he paid again while she had driven. He told her about Raj's potential date and she was surprised. She couldn't help but wonder how Ellie would react. She told him she was going to need some guinea pigs after dinner, plotting to get them in the same room. She held up a hand when he started explaining the best place to get a live guinea pigs and recommending white mice instead.

Sheldon wasn't totally into the idea (of playing customer, not the scheming, she didn't mention the scheming.) But he went in with her to the liquor store and he picked out some nonalcoholic things that would create some interesting virgin drinks.

Back at the apartment Ellie was waiting with books filled with sticky note bookmarks. Sheldon unloaded all the bottles onto Penny's counter and managed to make it look like it was always meant to be a bar.

Penny ran across the hall asking for volunteers, it was almost a no go until Raj whispered into Leonard's ear that he'd like to take up drinking.

Leonard was the only one surprised that Sheldon was sitting comfortably on one of Penny's bars tools ordering an Atomic Cat. Raj was too shocked to see Eloise being the friend that needed help mixing drinks. And she was pretty sure Howard was working out which sex related drink to order first. He went with "Care to make some sex on the beach?"

Raj takes a seat and whispers into Howard's ear that he'd like whatever she felt like making, and quickly downed the resulting drink.

"Another grasshopper please, oh Eloise, everything is a mess. My parents are trying to get me hitched!"

Everyone freezes where they are in shock.

Raj continues, "I don't even want to go out with little Lalita, I'd rather go out with you. But I can't! I can't even get out one measly little sentence whenever you're around."

"Ah Raj..." Penny starts, but she's cut off by Howard saying they should wait until he figures it out himself.

Ellie obviously can't wait, "Raj, you're taking to me!"

"What?! Oh, I am! Hello Eloise! You're very pretty," Raj exclaims, "Oh and Hi Penny, look Penny, I can talk to women!"

"Great job, sweetie!"

Ellie starts making drinks for herself too and gets almost everyone pretty drunk. The last thing Penny remembers is Sheldon tucking her in and Ellie whispering on the couch while sitting next to Raj.

She smiled herself to sleep, marveling at her matchmaking skills. And maybe, that smile was partly due to the kiss on the forehead she received, signaling the end of their date.


	11. The War on Floor Four

Howard breaks the date off in the least racist and rude way possible he can manage, according to Ellie. Which means it was probably a bit of both. She was still on Penny's couch when Penny finally got out of bed the next day.

Sheldon showed up not long after that, claiming she had agreed to finally go play mini golf. Penny was on the look out for any of the usual signs that he was lying, but none came so she gave in.

It was surprisingly a good amount of fun and she talked him into trying a new restaurant. He pulled out a notebook and asked the waitress a variety of questions but in the end it's been put on the list of Sheldon approved restaurants, with probationary status for now.

After dinner he walked her to her door and gave a quick kiss on the cheek. Penny felt her cheeks warm in response and they said goodnight. She entered her apartment to find it empty and decided to enjoy the peace and quiet and have a nice bath. ~

The peace on the fourth floor doesn't last long. Sheldon and Leonard begin fighting. At first she has a slight suspicion that has something to do with her, but alas it's about something scientific, a paper or theory or whatever.

When the two boys stop speaking to each other Sheldon takes to hiding in Penny's apartment. The upside is he cooks and cleans, the downside is that he complains about Leonard a lot and he's totally rubbing off on her when it comes to tv shows.

She's trying not to play sides so when Leonard asks for wardrobe advice she says yes without feeling too guilty about it.

When she comes back, after trying to convince Leonard to burn that ugly suit, Sheldon's still camped out on her couch watching something. He asks bitterly about Leonard. She almost thinks better of it, but tries to mend fences anyway.

"You should just talk to him, I'm sure you guys can work out this little misunderstanding."

"A little misunder…. Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding."

"Look sweetie, I think he feels really bad about it. And I know Leonard values you as a friend, and he told me himself that without your little idea there's no way he could have come up with this whole experiment thing."

"Little idea?! Excuse me Penny!"

Sheldon goes across the hall and Penny can hear yelling from both sides, and phrases like "lucky hunch!" and "trying to impress Penny!" get tossed around.

When Sheldon comes back he's carrying an overnight bag and his night of the week pjs. It doesn't take long for them to realize he will not fit on the couch, and she will not give up the bed.

"So... sharing. We're two adults, we can do this." she stops and turns to him and holds up a finger, "And this not me picking sides, I'm still going to go be supportive of Leonard."

As she finishes her sentence she crawls into the right side of the bed.

Over on the left, he mutters under his breath something that sounds like "Not if I have my way..."

But when she says, "Goodnight sweetie," he responds in kind and even thanks her for letting him stay. She can't help but think that he has his moments. ~

Authors Note. My plan is to write an ending that makes sense for now so I can pause work on this and try my hand at some one shots and resume this when the mood strikes. So don't be alarmed if it shows up marked complete, that is just part one of my episode by episode project.


	12. The Fight on the Stage Floor

Leonard knocks on Penny's door the day of the presentation.

Sheldon was quick to answer it. "Off to present my "lucky hunch," I presume."

"Sheldon we went over this, I only said that impress Penny, now please come with me, we did the work together, we should present the paper together."

Penny was sitting at her dining table, hidden by the door, and her eyebrows raised in response to Leonard's admission.

"No thank you, it's undignified pandering and I want nothing to do with it."

Leonard gives up and leaves. Immediately after Sheldon spins and says, "Get dressed, we don't want to be late."

She does get dressed after Sheldon promises to explain as she does so, "So you want to watch from the back row and heckle?"

"I never said heckle, critique maybe. All presenters should be able to handle a constructive critique."

She rolls her eyes in response, but decides she'd like to see Leonard give his presentation, she'll just sit a few seats away from the mad doctor. ~

They get there just in time, Sheldon sneaks in the back and Penny finds Howard and Raj in the front row. She gives Leonard a little wave, and he in turn casts a speculative glance around the room before breaking into a wide smile that she cared enough to show up. It seems to give him an extra boost of confidence and things go even better when the confusing joke he tells makes everyone else chuckle.

Things get even more confusing as he goes on and she finds herself wishing she stayed in the back with Sheldon, but ah well- Howard's shoulder isn't too bony, and the shirt smells clean and she's so sleepy and bored. She's awoken by shouting and oh yes, Sheldon's causing a scene, what a surprise.

She's still pretty sleepy in the brain so she lets it go on and is surprised how no one else finds it shocking that they're practically rolling around on the ground- oh, there they actually go. Seriously? No one else is stunned?

Howard sees the look on her face and says, "You'd be surprised how many of these things end this way." ~

Sheldon follows Leonard down to his car like he's expecting a ride home per usual, but Penny can't blame Leonard for not wanting to be around him at the moment.

She pulls up next to him right as Leonard's car pulls away without Sheldon and convinces him to just get in already. Penny drives them home in a less direct route, giving Leonard some more time to cool down. She talks more at him, then with him to pass the time and mentions that there's open auditions coming up for RENT. Sheldon scoffs when she adds that it's a musical. Her singing isn't that bad, but maybe he has a point and it isn't that great either. She lets his comment go and decides he just doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to.

Penny isn't pleased with Leonard over the whole paper presenting fallout so she won't invite him either. Not that he'll even know to feel snubbed, but it's the thought that counts, she decides.

When Sheldon points out that restaurant still on probationary status she realizes she sort of drove there on autopilot and they end up having a nice dinner together, with Sheldon making snide Leonard related comments only once in awhile.

The, now customary, goodnight kiss at the end of their evening together comes just as they're getting into bed to go sleep. The shock at just how normal and natural it felt came later, when she was just about to drift off to sleep.

"Fuck!"


End file.
